Hellfirecomms The Warriors of the 4th Wall
by KevROB948
Summary: What happens when the 4th wall breaks? The answer is Mad Chaos. The members of Hellfirecomms dot com team up with Kingdom Hearts characters plus others to stop this madness! With special guest star Parasite Cage!
1. Chapter 1 This makes total sense!

A Random Kingdom Heartfirecomms Fanfic (Also known as that thread you may or may not remember)

By: TheBladeofaDemon, KevROB948, GalladeRoxas, RougeFalcon122, TDF, Fearless, Spiffythewonderkid, jjmara813, LinkSora74, and Stungun44. Oh, and Zoidberg, I guess.

(Chapter 1)

This Makes Total Sense!

Sora was walking with Riku when they saw Twilight Thorn and Dark Side together. "Riku," asked Sora, "Why are those two heartless so close to each other like that?" "Silly Sora," Riku replied. "Twilight Thorn is a Nobody, not a Heartless!"

But suddenly, Donald and Goofy jumped out of their stomachs for no raisin! And then Parasite Cage barged in and ate the fridge! "My fruit punch!" Sora exclaimed. Sora and Riku tried fighting the two enemies, but they were too powerful. "How did you guys get so strong?" Sora said. Then they regenerated and merged to become Dark Thorn. Parasite Cage teleported away, and Riku and Sora started to battle Dark Thorn. Sora used Sonic Blade while Riku just atacked Dark Thorn head on.

Suddenly, someone in a black cloak appeared to intervene. She pulled out two pitchforks and she defeated Dark Thorn with ease. "Who are you?" Sora said, staring at her. "The true question is, who are you?" The mysterious woman replied. "That's none of your business!" cried Sora. Sora ran to attack her, but he was easily outmatched. Then, she disappeared. "Where did she go?" Sora exclaimed. "It's anyone's guess..." replied Riku. "Do you think she could've been part of Organization XIII?" Sora said. "Dunno," said Riku apathetically, "she could be."

But then Riku started acting strange. "Not!" Riku shouted with sarcasm, "We defeated them, don't you remember anything?" "Slipped my mind, I guess," replied Sora. Suddenly, Kairi walks down to them. Then Sora starts to reflect on how his whole Keyblade adventure started. ,"We defeated the organization, but...what is this strange feeling?" Sora thought to himself. Then, a cardboard box bit Sora's leg. "I think...I think... RIKU," screamed Sora suddenly, "I THINK YOUR BOX IS TRYING TO KILL ME!"

The box then came to life, and it nearly killed Riku with a laser. But then it remembered that Riku is his best friend. Then, it proceeded to try to kill Sora instead. However, it remembered Sora was Riku's friend aswell. So it stopped moving, and it turns into a dragon. "I am Maleficent's twin brother!" It shouted into the air. "Really?" Sora said surprisingly. "Oh no, I'm not." The dragon replied with sarcasm. "I may be her brother, but I am not as pathetic or hellbent on ruling the universe." "But, why?" Sora said. The dragon looked down at Sora. "Because ruling the universe is lame. I just want to cure cancer." "Wow, even this dragon has more aspiration than you Sora." Riku said insultingly. "Shut up, Riku!" Sora said.

Because of that incident, Sora gets on a raft and leaves island pissed knowing that his day was really fucked up. He goes to a new world, it is a world where toys can move and talk on their own. Sora landed in the world of Toy Story! But then he realized that he got there on only a raft, and he wonders how he got there.

Back on the island, Riku and Kairi frantically search for Sora. But as they searched, a wall in front of them began to shatter. But when the two of them noticed it breaking, it was too late.

As Sora entered this new world, he shrunk in size, and became a plush doll. Then he noticed two toys being attacks by Largebodies. One of them was a spaceman, while the other was a cowboy. Sora rushed towards them, and he saved the two of them from the Heartless. They thanked Sora, and they ran off.

But suddenly, TheHelldragon and Riku appeared next to Sora for no raisin! "Woah!" Sora said, "Riku, how'd you get here?" "I'm not sure myself." Riku replied. "Well, what about Kairi?" "Don't worry, she's still on the island." Sora was relieved. "That's good to here." He turned his head to Helldragon. "So Riku, who is this?" Riku turned to Helldragon while Helldragon drank from his bottle of Bat Blood. "...I'm not sure myself." Riku replied. Matt Willard sighed. "My (user)name is TheHelldragon. I came from another world full of Hellfire and commentaries. But I got sucked through a portal and now I'm in this game." Sora and Riku looked at each other. "Uhh..." Sora began to say.

Before Sora could finish, Heartless appeared in front of them. Helldragon pulls out two keyblades. "Now I can kill these little shits with-" Helldragon noticed the keyblades in his hands. "Wait, what the hell? These aren't my Blades of Chaos!" Then another portal appeared, and a man covered in white ash and blood jumped out. He was also wearing no pants. Then he handed Helldragon the Blade of Artemis. Helldragon's mouth was open, and he exploded in his pants. "OH MY GOD!" Helldragon cried out. "You're Kratos!" "Yes, and you're the Helldragon." Kratos replied. And with a blink of an eye, they were transported to Rhodes.

And thus, Sora, Riku, TheHelldragon, and Kratos began killing enemies in the most brutal ways possible. Sora jammed his keyblade down a solders' throat, while Riku ripped wings off the harpies. Suddenly, a huge group of bats appeared and flew towards the Helldragon. And along with them, was the Colossus of Rhodes.

Then Simon Belmont jumped out of a window. He pulled out his whip and killed two of the bats. "You should all escape while you still can!" He said sounding like Crispin Freeman. Helldragon and Kratos ignored him, while Sora felt a weird feeling in his chest. TheHelldragon went ballistic, and started to stab the Resident Evil like bats. "DIE YOU F*CKING BATS! DIE!" While Helldragon was killing bats, Kratos proceeded to fight the colossus. When there was only a few bats left, TheHelldragon ran up the colossus' arm, climbed to the top of its head, and then fired a giant Getsuga Tensho blast from his blade, thus killing all the bats and enemies. Everyone else, even the colossus looked at him and all said simultaneously. "...Damn!"

TheHelldragon jumped off the colossus and landed back on solid ground. He then proceeded to gloat. "HAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT, BITCHES!" Then he proceeded to eat their remains. While TheHelldragon was stuffing his face with bat wings, a shadowy figure jumped out of the colossus' mouth and landed in front of TheHelldragon. "...I'm Batman." He said. TheHelldragon looked at him with rage filling his eyes. Then they began a battle to the death, while Sora, Riku, Kratos, Simon, and the colossus acted like cheerleaders. The five of them pooled on who would win. After only 5 seconds, TheHelldragon won by destroying his utility belt. "Listen, I hate actual bats, now go back to Gotham. You don't belong here." TheHelldragon said sounding like he didn't want to break something. Batman disappeared, and Kratos continued to fight the colossus.

Suddenly, an obnoxious voice filled the air. "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you Batman!" Seifer floated down from the sky with wings he got from CANDY MOUNTAIN. "To stop all this uncontrollable warping, you'll need to kill a heartless know as Deathfarer. I can't kill it because I dont have a keyblade." As Seifer began to leave, Kratos grabbed him and ripped off his wings. Because of this, a portal appeared. Kratos threw Seifer's lifeless body at the colossus at lightning speed, destroying it instantly. "Hahaha! You suck first boss!" Helldragon said while running into the portal. Sora, Simon, and Riku proceeded to follow him. "Do you see now, Gods of Olympus!" Kratos yelled towards the sky. "Do you need more proof than this?" Then, the falling colossus made one final attempt at attacking Kratos. It brought it's giant sized hand down, and crushed the unsuspecting Kratos.

"NOOOOOOO!" TheHelldragon cried out, "KKKKKRRRAAATTTOOOSSS!" Then the portal disappeared, leaving Kratos' body behind. The four of them ended up in a dimension of darkness that felt very familiar. It was an alternate version of Destiny Islands. "Wait," Sora began to say, "What does this have to do with Kingdom Hearts?" Riku slapped him. "Don't break the fourth wall!" He said. Sora was shocked at what he just said. "How did I-" Helldragon cut him off. "Because of the heartless Deathfarer, the 4th wall has been broken." (The fourth wall?) Riku thought to himself, (could that have been that wall on the island?) "How do you know it's been broken?" Sora asked. "Well, my presence here proves it. Every time one of us breaks its, the crack on the wall grows. Once the entire thing collapses, creatures known as "fangirls" will be able to capture every single one of us."

Just then, two british men appeared next to Simon. "And look, now NTom64 and FTA are here as well. We'd better kill that heartless fast or else the world will go to chaos!" "Sup bitches." NTom said, while taking a sip of tea. "Let's kick this motherf*ckers ass son!" FTA replied. Then they pulled out two Chaos Emeralds. Suddenly, 50 gimps and Zant appeared. "Alright," Riku began, "you guys have keyblades, so whip em' out and start killing gimps, Hellfire Style!" Tom pulled out a keyblade that resembled a piranha plant, while FTA pulled out a Sonic type keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end. Then the Prodigy song "Smack my bitch up" began playing in the background. "Wow, this story is really taking a turn." Sora said, breaking the 4th wall. "What did I just tell you?" Helldragon said while cracking a gimps' skull.

While everyone was killing gimps, FTA confronted Zant. FTA began singing "Live and Learn", and then Sonic appeared out of a portal. He proceeded to stab Zant in the stomach, Black Knight style. Then, it turns out that Zant was actually Deathfarer in disguise! He summoned more gimps, and then Sonic unleashed more slashes. As Helldragon watched Sonic kill gimps, he got pissed. "Oh no way in hell do you have a sword!" Helldragon said. "Well, why are you a stereotypical idiot?" Sonic replied. "Touche." Sora was standing in the background. "...I thought this story was about me!" He said. "Start doing shit you lazy bastard!" Tom said as he fought his way to Deathfarer.

As Tom approached Deathfarer, a man ran up to him and took a swing at Tom's head. It was Samuel L. Jackson with his "Bad Motherfucker" keyblade. Samuel L. Jackson took Tom's head off, but it was only a shadow clone. Then, Tom and Samuel L. Jackson had a battle more epic than Cloud vs. Sephiroth.

Suddenly, a man with a mohawk and a body covered in red ash appeared along side to Saix and Marluxia. It was Kratos' nobody, Xartok. "Wait, I thought the writers killed you off!" Sora said. "4th wall broken!" Everyone shouted at him. "You idiot!" Helldragon said, "You're supposed to be the f*cking main character! You should be more active and less retarded." Goofy and Donald appeared, and they combined to create a Dug. "Wait, when did you two get here?" Sora said. "Again, broken 4th wall." Dug replied. Sora used Dug's power to go into Master Form. Then, he joined the fight. "About time." Riku said.

While Sora was kicking ass, Helldragon and Tom took a break and began commentating over the action. "Welcome back to the Kingdom Hearts 69 playthrough." Helldragon said. "Ha! Innuendo." Tom replied. "Will you all stop breaking the 4th wall until we defeat Deathfarer?" Riku said, " If we don't, there can be bad effects."

Suddenly, a girl with black hair appeared. "I'm here to help!" She said with a smile. "Who's that?" said Sora. "I'm Xion. I'm on the cover of 358/2 Days." Riku slapped her. "I said stop breaking the 4th wall Sora!" "Hey! Don't spoil it!" Xion replied. Unfortunately, because of all of the cameos and and characters, the world collapsed and everyone ends up at Final Destination. Deathfarer absorbs all of the gimps and Samuel L. Jackson, thus making him more powerful. Then Deathfarer split up into 3 smaller versions or him. Because of this, our heroes also split up into 3 groups. The first group was Team Hellfire with NTom64, FTA, TheHelldragon, Simon Belmont, and Sonic. The second group was Team Disney with Sora, Riku, Dug, and Xion.

Seeing how there weren't enough people to make three groups, Deathfarer summoned two humans from the Milky Way Galaxy. The first one was TheBladeofaDemon who has an Onyx Keyblade from hell, and the second was KevROB948 who has a keyblade from a cute fallen angel otaku. "Alright bitches," Tom said, "listen up. You two will join together as a team with those three nobodies over there, and fight the Deathfarer on the right. My team will fight the one on the left, and the Disney/Square Enix characters will fight the one in the middle." The three humans nodded.

However, Chip, Dale, and Sid crashed into Xion and Simon, while riding in the Gummi Ship. Because of this, the impact of the ship caused Final Destination to fall apart. Then everyone except Deathfarer began falling down to the land below. Everyone landed safely except Sonic, who landed in the shark infested waters. Also, Simon was nowhere to be found. Sora was unconscious until KevROB threw water on his face. Sora woke up thinking everything that happened was a dream, until he saw Tom playing Sonic Colors and FTA yelling at Helldragon impersonating Samuel L. Jackson.

But all of the fun stopped when Deathfarer floated down from space ready to end all life. That is when the battle of all battles began. Everyone was attacking, evading, shooting magic from their keyblades, until a girl with wonderous powers appeared. "Oh you have got to kidding me! Why couldn't I have landed in Magical Starsign?" asked Spiffy the Wonderkid as she rushed to join the battle. "Also, I swear to god, if Squa- I mean Leon shows up I will punch him in the face," she said as she cast Blizzaga on Xion. "Die useless and boring character, die I say!" "Calm down Spiffy." TheBladeofaDemon said. "After we kill Deathfarer, you have all the time in the world to beat the shit out of Xion."

"Hey! Did everyone forget about me?" Xartok said while ripping Xion's head off. "No!" KevROB screamed. "You ruined all the fun we could've had beating her up! You must die!" "But I'm in an RPG and in order to beat the final boss, I need to level up and collect the necessary equipment!" Spiffy said, "Which is why I need to murder random people and break into houses and steal people's stuff." As she spoke, the 4th wall crumbled once more. "You did not just steal my kill!" she shrieked at Xartok. "Let's get him, Spiffy!" KevROB said while using a cell phone to call Mickey. "I'm on vacation, so deal with it!" Mickey said. "Also, don't forget to visit DisneyWorld!" Then he hung up. Becuase of Xion's death, an epic battle with Spiffy and KevROB versus Xartok began. But then TheBladeofaDemon went behind Xartok and stabbed him. Then Xartok disappeared into the darkness."Uh...does anyone care about me anymore?" Sora said. "NNNOOOOOO!" Everyone shouted.

Then the woman in the black cloak appeared again holding two pitchforks. "Oh yeah, we forgot about this subplot!" Sora said. Then everyone took a turn slapping Sora. "I'm gonna make you my bitch!" the woman said to Sora. "I came here to hear voice acting and see cutscenes god damn it!" shrieked Spiffy at the woman in black, before casting Firaga on her. "Hey you can't say that! This is a Disney game!" Sora said. "You know what," Riku said. "I'm just not going to bother anymore." "Screw Disney, I have a reference to YGOTAS!" Spiffy yelled back at Sora. "DIEEEEEEEEEEE!" Spiffy promptly began to wail on the woman in black with her Keyblade. "Shut the fuck up and focus on the enemy!" yelled Tom. "The woman in the cloak can wait. Let's take care of Deathfarer already, all of this 4th Wall breaking is getting annoying!" said TheHelldragon. "Gawrsh, who is that lady?" said Dug. "That is number XV." said Saix. "Her name is Sary Xuem (Mary Sue), and she is the strongest nobody that ever existed." Suddenly, Roxas took over Sora's body. "That's bullshit!" Roxas said, "I wield two motherfucking keyblades, and as Sora I killed you bastards so go back to being dead!" Persuaded by Roxas' girly voice and cologne, the organization members besides Sary Xuem because she's almighty or something all just fell down lifeless.

"Oh dear God. It's Roxas." Spiffy said, rolling her eyes. "Are you guys my-" Spiffy cut him off mid-sentence. "No, we will not be your fucking friends. Go get paired with Axel or something. Seriously, we have the universe to save." Thankfully, Roxas fell down dead. Then Sora became a heartless again. "Good." Riku said. "Now he can't break the 4th wall anymore."

Suddenly, Dark Thorn came back as a pirate ship named Monstro. Thanks to TheBladeofaDemon, Sora went back to normal, but he had Oathkeeper and Oblivion in his hands. The only problem was that Sora couldn't move or talk. Then, Dug began playing Dig Dug while HellDragon unleashed his rage on Montro. "Riku, does this mean that you're the main character now?" Spiffy asked. "Can we go break into people's houses and steal stuff now?" "Yes and yes." said Riku. "I got first dibs!" said TheBladeofaDemon. TheHelldragon started attacking Monstro with all of his might. "FEEL THE POWER OF DRAGONS MONSTRO!" yelled TheHelldragon as he slashed Monstro with his flame covered Blade of Artemis. Then Mickey returned from his vacation and glomped NTom64 for no raisin.

"Go back to your vacation you prick!" Tom said. Because of this, Mickey summons every Mickey from the past and future and they transform into an Epic Mickey. "Fine, but please do something!" Tom said as he released his keyblade. Then KevROB does a keyblade release. "Now let's all kill Sary Xeum and Monstro!" KevROB said while FTA pulled out a Torch. Then FTA throws it at the enemies and releases his Sonicblade.

TheHelldragon, Ntom64, and FTA combine their powers to unleash their ultimate attack. TheHelldragon pulls out the Blades of Chaos, while FTA does Chaos control. Tom jumps up, and the three of them combine their powers. Then they fired a massive beam from hell and it kills Monstro. Then, they attack Deathfarer with a combinations of slashes from the Blades of Hellfire, flaming homing attacks, and the superpowers of Teamwork and Friendship. Their attack brutally injured Deathfarer, but in his moment of weakness, Deathfarer evolves into Dark Dragon. "I am Maleficent's mother!" The Dark Dragon said. "Deathfarer's a girl?" said Sora. "Apparently." Riku replied. "Now, it's time for you all to despair from my true form!" But before she could kill them, Simon appeared out of the sky riding Riku's Box Dragon. "...Mother!" The Box Dragon said. "We meet again, Box Dragon." "Uhh, Riku, does your box have a name?" Sora asked. Riku slapped him. "Of course not! Why would I name my box?"

Now that there are three dragons, Box Dragon, Dark Dragon, and TheHelldragon all fire lasers from their mouths. Unfortunately, when the three lasers collided with each other, the world was destroyed. Thus, everyone landed in Agrabah.

"Hey there! Sora, Donald, Goo-wait..." Aladdin said as Sora was falling. "Sora, what is that?" Aladdin said pointing to the Dug. "Oh, that's a Dug. Donald and Goofy combined, and the-" Before Sora could finish, the three dragons fired lasers again, and so Agrabah blows up aswell. Everyone fell again, and they ended up in America. But it wasn't just America, it was also Britain aswell. As everyone was getting up, Box Dragon ate Aladdin. But Dark Dragon started disappearing. "Ugghh...too...not...Japan!" It said. "...must heal...with...anime!" The Dark Dragon fired one more beam, killing Simon. Then, it disappeared, along with Riku's Box Dragon.

Then it turns to night and a message box pops up saying "What a horrible night to have a curse." "Wait," Sora began, "when did this become a Castlevania fanfi-" Riku bonked him on the head with his keyblade. "It hasn't," said TheHelldragon. "It's all just the effect of the 4th wall. Besides, curses don't effect keyblade weilders." "Then why do I keep breaking the 4th wall?" "Hmm, who knows?" said FTA. TheBladeofaDemon pulled out his Onyx keyblade. Suddenly, tons of Heartless appeared and surrounds them. "Well, it looks like we have to kill 100,000 heartless now." TheBladeofaDemon sighed.

"Should we just do a Spirit Bomb?" TheBladeofaDemon said. Everyone nodded. Then, a big energy bomb strikes the Heartless, thus killing them all. "Lets go get some Ice cream!" Spiffy said. Everyone agreed, and they went to go get Ice cream. Suddenly, IRTundraboy and Ron appeared and tied Tom up with rope. "We're taking him with us!" They said. "Should we go after them?" KevROB said. "Nah," Riku replied. "Let's get ice cream first." "No!" Tom yelled, "Save me you bitches!" Everyone else ignored him. "I'm getting a brownie sundae." TheBladeofaDemon said. "Let's ask Ron and Tundraboy if they want ice cream!" Sora said. They asked them, and they agreed. Ron and Tundraboy threw Tom off a cliff and he landed in the dead Monstro's mouth. And thus, HellFirecomms was renamed DragonFirecomms. Also, Sora lost his voice. The End...

...is what we would of said if Tom hadn't seen the reaction commands. He failed one, but he was still able to get back on solid ground. Monstro's body then exploded and old man chunks landed on everyone's ice cream. But, they didn't care, they just bought more ice cream. "So does anyone care about me?" Sora said being the only one without ice cream. The End...

of Chapter 1!

(Levels)

Title (Commentator)NTom64: Level 30 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end

Title (Sonic Nerd) FTA: Level 28 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end

Title (Overlord) KevROB: Level 26 Weapon: A keyblade from a cute fallen angel

Title (Weird Animal) Dug: Level 22 Weapon: A Staff and a shield

Title (Wonderous Girl)Spiffy: Level 29 Weapon: Unknown

Title (Dark Hero)Riku: Level 31 Weapon: Batwing-blade

Title (Keyblade weilder) Sora: Level 25 Weapon: Oathkeeper and Oblivion

Title (Disney's mascot)Epic Mickey: Level 50 Weapon: Epic Keyblade

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 24 Weapon: Guitar Axe

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 24 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon: Level 27 Weapon: Onyx keyblade

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 35 Weapon: Blade of Artemis

On the next episode of Hellfirecomms...

NTom64, A normal yet very English bastard man and Kairi, a simple but very Japanese anime girl. Two such people bump heads at a street corner so hard, the collision ends up swapping their souls. Now what? "Me? An anime girl?" Tom said. Life as Kairi ends up being pretty tough for Tom, knowing that he has two guys fighting over him, and nerds doing things when their alone while looking at pictures. Oh! How terribly nasty the gods can be in the convention of hell! "Is being an anime character that dangerous?" Will Tom be able to get out of this predicament, or will he stay trapped in a young girl's body forever? And what about his destiny? "...Can't I choose to go back to normal? And what's this about destiny?"

Next time on...

{Hellfirecomms: The Adventures of NTom64! Final episode! - U. R. - - It's time to wake up Tom!} "Who writes this crap anyway?" "So does any of that even happen?" Sora said. "Of course not!" FTA replied.


	2. Chapter 2 CANDY MOUNTAIN!

(Chapter 2)

CANDY MOUNTAIN!

After the incident with the ice cream and Monstro, the group decided to go to CANDY MOUNTAIN. "We'd better go solve this mystery!" HellDragon said. "What are you talking about?" Riku replied. "The Mystery of Candy Mountain, of course!" said Helldragon. Then a unicorn appeared in front of him. "Are you Charlie?" It said. "What the fuck are you talking about?" HellDragon replied pulling out a dark blue version of the Blade of Artemis. "When the hell did you get that?" TheBladeofaDemon said. "Eh, it doesn't matter. Mine just evolved!" TheBladeofaDemon's keyblade became much sharper. "Lets get this shit done already!" FTA said. TheBladeofaDemon nodded. "I don't have anything better to do anyway. Besides, I can't go back to my home unless we kill Dark Dragon." "Don't forget, the first person to leave a group always dies." Riku said. "I know," KevROB said, "I mean look at Simon." "Good point." said Tom, "Let's hurry and go." Thus begins their journey to CANDY MOUNTAIN.

As the group journeyed up the mountain, a girl named Fearless, with her sexy cape, popped out in front of their path. "...Wow." KevROB said astonished. "That's one sexy cape!" "Steady on KevROB." Tom said. "Fearless, does your keyblade have any abilities?" TheBladeofaDemon said. "I don't have a keyblade," answered Fearless. "I have a scythe!" "A scythe?" KevROB said to Fearless. "Are you related to Marluxia?" "No. Marly is a fruitcake. I just wanted a scythe." TheBladeofaDemon looked impressed. "Sycthes are cool when Ryu Hayabusa uses it."

"Do you want to join us, Fearless?" Spiffy said. "Sure, why not?" Fearless replied. (Fearless, with her sexy cape and scythe has joined your party!) "Alright then," Tom began, "Let's hurry up and investigate CANDY MOUNTAIN.

And so, TheBladeofaDemon, KevROB, the character no one cares about, Riku, Spiffy, Fearless, Ntom64, FTA, Epic Mickey, Ron, Dug, IRTundraboy, and the unicorn travel to CANDY MOUNTAIN for no raisin. "But it's for the best reason!" TheHellDragon said while eating the head off of a bat. But suddenly, a magical demonic blade appeared out of TheBladeofaDemon's chest. It targets Tom, and it combines with him. Then Tom transformed into Sephiroth! "Fearless, how do you stop Heartless from appearing?" TheBladeofaDemon said. Then, TheBladeofaDemon fought Sephiroth and matched his sword swings blow for blow. "When the hell did I say I did that?" said Fearless a she jumped at Sephiroth. "I just enjoy slicing the thing's heads off." Then Helldragon stabs Sephiroth in the back, and releases Tom from the sword's trap. Then the sword vanished."That was a bitch move." Ron said. "Why doesn't anyone pay attention to me anymore?" Sora said feeling left out. "You're just not important right now." TheHelldragon said. "What is important now, is killing!" Fearless said wiping blood off her scythe. "No, you're both wrong you bunch of ******." Tom said. "What really matters is solving this mystery." "Solving the mystery of CANDY MOUNTAIN might help us go home." KevROB said. "That's right. Besides, I have commentaries to do." Tom replied. "Yep! Let's travel to the top!" TheBladeofaDemon said while pointing his keyblade towards the top.

{The Top of CANDY MOUNTAIN}

"Alright, where's the boss?" HellDragon said. "He's right over there!" KevROB said while pointing over to a shadowy figure. "What...the...fuck." Tom said with his eyes bulged. "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" FTA shouted. Tundraboy sighed, while Fearless and Spiffy facepalmed. "This makes no freakin' sense!" TheBladeofaDemon said with his mouth open. The boss looked like Tom, but he was badly recolored blue. "Hello, there Tom." The blue Tom said. "Wh-who the hell are you?" Tom cried out. The blue Tom laughed to himself. "Hehehe, I am your brother MTon32! And I am here to destroy you!" "N-no, that's impossible!" Tom couldn't believe it. Then Ron bitch-slapped some sense into him. "I have no brother!" Tom replied. Thus, the boss battle against the imposter began!

Tom threw Tea at his (not)brother while KevROB and TheBladeofaDemon did a team attack. Fearless stunned MTon32 with her Sexy Cape. Then Sora used Sonic Blade. IRTundraboy froze the boss and then Ron summoned 7 other zombies to fight alongside him. Ron threw the zombies at the frozen imposter, and the frozen MTon shattered into nothing. They won the battle! After they won, the shards of ice began to come back together. There was a flash of light, and Sary Xeum appeared in front of them. She was extremely pissed. "You bastards forgot all about me!" She said. "Well duh, you're not important yet, you subplot!" Helldragon said. "Ooh, well aren't you a smartass?" Sary Xeum replied. She began to act seductive. "Why don't you use your own dragon against me?" "Alright then!" Helldragon transformed into a real dragon. "That's not what I meant!" Sary Xeum said regrettably. Then Helldragon swallowed her whole. "So did we win?" Fearless said.

Suddenly, Sary Xeum teleported out of Helldragon's stomach. "Nice job :3," She said to Helldragon. "Why don't you and I do this together alone, Helldragon?" Helldragon was creeped out. "Is she hitting on me?" He said. Then he pulled out The Blade of Artemis and the two of them began fighting each other. "Come on, step it up!" An annoying voice said. It was Sonic, and he pulled out his sword. "Where the hell did you go?" Tundraboy said. But then Sonic exploded into onion rings. Why? No reason. Thus, his body disappeared.

For no raisin, exploding penguins fell from the sky. "Look out!" KevROB said, "It's the exploding doods!" While everyone dodged the explosions, Pence showed up. "I'm here to help guys!" He said. "Get out of here, useless minor character!" Helldragon said. TheBladeofaDemon tries to shoot Sary Xeum, but accidentally shoots Pence instead. Then he falls off the mountain. "Sorry about that!"

TheBladeofaDemon said. "He's not important enough to get your sorry." KevROB said saving one of the doods from exploding. "I'm going to call you, Momo." KevROB said putting some candy into it's fanny pack.

Spiffy jumped onto the unicorn rode it into Sary Xeum. "We're not strong enough to beat her!" Epic Mickey said. "Gaawrsh, you're right!" Dug said. "Let's combine our powers, Dug!" Suddenly, Ntom64's letter O ran off. "Hey, get back here!" Tom said. While Epic Mickey was combining with Dug, the letter O was caught in the middle of it. So then, Epic Mickey, Dug, and the letter O joined together and became Epic D*ckey Dog. "...Great!" NTm64 said. Now they're back to level 1, they have a suggestive name, they have even lower stats, and I lost my letter O!"

Since Sary Xeum was a Mary Sue, she was invincible, and she teleported away. "Get back here you bitch!" NTm64 said. " Why the hell was she here," TheBladeofaDemon said, "and why is she hitting on Helldragon?" "Because she is a fangirl." said TheHelldragon. "This is her world, and we're just her playthings." "So, is she god?" said Ron. "No, this is just a really bad fanfic by a really lonely girl." "Wow, Helldragon when did you get so smart?" KevROB asked. "Optimus Prime has taught me well." Helldragon replied while looking at the sky. "Well, why is she hitting on you?" Spiffy asked. "That...I don't know." "Wait a second!" Sora said. "Why aren't you all slapping him?" "He's important, you're not." FTA replied.

Suddenly, a door in the sky appeared out of nowhere. "Could that be our way out of this fanfic?" KevROB said. "Could be." Riku replied. "Well, we have keyblades." TheBladeofaDemon said. "Let's open the door out of this fanfic!" So then, Sora, TheBladeofaDemon, NTm64, Epic D*ckey Dog, FTA, and KevROB pointed their keyblades at the sky. There was a flash of light, and they ended up in a dark room. The room was filled with Yaoi posters, manga, anime DVDs, and toys that you don't want to know where they've been. The End...

of Chapter 2!

(Levels)

Title (Commentator) NTm64: Level 38 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end Limit: Hellfire Catharsis

Title (Sonic Nerd) FTA: Level 33 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end Limit: Chaos Control

Title (Overlord) KevROB: Level 37 Weapon: A keyblade from a cute fallen angel Limit: Overlord's Wrath

Title (Wonderous Girl) Spiffy: Level 35 Weapon: Unknown Limit: Unknown

Title (Dark Hero) Riku: Level 39 Weapon: Batwing-blade Limit: Darkstrom

Title (Keyblade wielder) Sora: Level 31 Weapon: Oathkeeper and Oblivion Limit: Master Form

Title (Useless Character) Epic D*ckey Dog: Level 1 Weapon: Shield-like Staffblade Limit: Epic D*ckey Rocket

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 36 Weapon: Guitar Axe Limit: Fimbulvetr

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 29 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun Limit: I HATE TIM BURTON!

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon: Level 38 Weapon: Onyx keyblade Limit: Look at my power!

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 45 Weapon: Dark Blade of Artemis Limit: The Rage of Dragons

Title (Beauty Queen) Fearless: Level 46 Weapon: Sexy Scythe Limit: Sexy Beam

Title (Exploding Penguin) Momo: Level 23 Weapon: Knives Limit: Tank Shot, Dood!

On the next episode of Hellfirecomms...

It's FTA! The Sonic nerd that's here to kick ass and take names! "He lost pretty badly to Helldragon in that Hurt and Heal game." Sora said. When FTA's cornered by italian plumbers, you might think it's the end but hoowaaah! The battle is just beginning. When you gather all seven gems, you'll unleash great power! "Well that's convenient..." Spiffy said. While FTA's normally just a nerd, FTA's power rises to defeat those plumbers. Everyone, lend him a bit of your power! "Hell no!" replied Riku.

Next time on...

{HellfireCommentaries Z! Final episode: The End of Sonic? It'll go on for just a few more episodes.} "Can't wait to see more powering up for 5 episodes, how about you Sora?" Riku said. "Who the fuck cares?" NTm64 replied. "Let's just get to Chapter 3 already!" "Teehee! Sorry, but we can't go there just yet." A mysterious yet somewhat creepy voice said. "Who said that?" Everybody in the party said.


	3. Chapter 2 and a half Mary Sue Revealed!

(Chapter 2.5)

Mary Sue revealed!

As the group walked around the room, Roxas possessed Sora again. "So, what should we do now?" Tundraboy said. "Let's go get more ice cream!" Roxas said. "Oh what the hell are you doing here?" Spiffy said. "No, let's all go to Dave n' Busters." TheBladeofaDemon said. Roxas stopped possessing Sora, and Sora regained consciousness. Everyone liked that idea. "Alright, then!" TheBladeofaDemon said. "Let's go!"

But before they could leave Mary Sue's house, the unicorn ripped it's own skin off to reveal it's true form. "You were Kratos this whole time?" Helldragon said. "The hands of death could not defeat me. The Sisters of Fate could not hold me." Kratos said. Then he handed Helldragon the Spear of Destiny. "...This is quite awkward." FTA said. "No more mind fucks please." Then Mary Sue returns wearing a shirt that read おい岩! When she saw Riku, Sora, and especially TheHelldragon, she nearly fainted. "We are all going to Dave n' Busters," TheBladeofaDemon said. Then he sighed. "do you want to come with us?" She agreed without hesitation, and they all went to Dave n' Busters.

TheBladeofaDemon and Fearless were playing House of the Dead, while Ron, IRTundraboy, Spiffy, and Riku played The Simpsons arcade game. KevROB was failing at "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero, while FTA mocked him. Epic D*ckey Dog was outside because no animals were allowed, and their name was too suggestive for the kiddies. Tom drank some more tea, while Mary Sue forced TheHelldragon to sit next to her. When TheHelldragon let his guard down, she tried to glomp him. Helldragon backed away a little, but was then almost mauled. "So what does this have to do with Kingdo-" Before Sora could finish, everyone glared at him. Then they all went back to what they were doing. Bugs Bunny was seen for a few seconds on House of the Dead before promptly being horribly mutilated for not being a Disney character. Unfortunately, Disney buys the rights to the Looney Toons 1 second after Bugs Bunny gets killed, so sucks to be him!

Because Sora was being neglected, he leaves Dave n' Busters and then he doing something right for once! ...Just kidding! Sora steps on a button, and then a giant rolling Indiana Jones boulder began to chase him. "Hey! This isn't fair!" Sora shrieked. ("Atleast it's about you!") The narrator replied. "Oh shut up!" Sora dodged to the left, and escaped the boulder. Then he saw a sign on a door. It read, "A totally awesome club that Sora will like" "Sounds like fun!" Sora said to himself. But when he went in, he was attacked by fangirls. "I got his pants!" One of them said. "I got a lock of his hair!" Another fangirl said. After all of that was done, the fangirls began to (Censored).

Sora lost his virginity to 45 different prepubescent fan girlsin the duration of 45 seconds, a world record. Oh and Riku pouts some more. Because of this, FTA, NTm64, Box Dragon, the Colossus of Rhodes, Momo, KevROB, TDF, Fearless, TheBladeofaDemon, Spiffy, Pence, Xartok, Sid, Epic D*ckey Dog, Dark Dragon, Kratos, Mary Sue, Buzz, Saix, Marluxia, Zant, Roxas, Woody, Simon's ghost, TDF, The fake unicorn, Torch, Dark Thorn, Setzer, Deathfarer, Monstro, Chip, Samuel L. Jackson, Axel, 10 year old hacker, Dale, MTon32, Riku, Bugs Bunny, Kairi, Batman, a bat, Xion, Helldragon, one of the exploding penguins, Ron, and IRTundraboy said altogether, "DAMN..." TDF, hearing he was mentioned twice, quickly killed his doppleganger. Oh and Riku pouts some more.

Sora feeling violated, went back to Dave n' Busters to see if everyone would pay attention to him again. They didn't. "So TDF," KevROB said, "Wanna join our group?" "Sure, it's either this, or watching Riku pout." (TDF, not wanting to see Riku pout anymore, joined your group! Oh, and Riku pouts some more.) "Wait, what does this have to do with-" Everyone slapped Sora. "I wasn't going to say Kingdom Hearts!" He said. "Gawwrsh, so can we start Chapter 3 yet?" Epic D*ckey Dog said. "30 more seconds, dood." The penguin replied. "29...28...FUCK IT!" Sora said, swearing for the first time. And so, Chapter 3 began. In the middle of a Wal*Mart.

And

(wait for it)

Riku pouts some more.

(Levels)

Title (Commentator) NTm64: Level 51 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end Limit: Hellfire Catharsis

Title (Sonic Nerd) FTA: Level 45 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end Limit: Chaos Control

Title (Overlord) KevROB: Level 50 Weapon: A keyblade from a cute fallen angel Limit: Overlord's Wrath

Title (Wonderous Girl) Spiffy: Level 52 Weapon: Unknown Limit: Unknown

Title (Dark Hero) Riku: Level 52 Weapon: Batwing-blade Limit: Darkstrom

Title (Keyblade wielder) Sora: Level 46 Weapon: Oathkeeper and Oblivion Limit: Master Form

Title (Useless Character) Epic D*ckey Dog: Level 2 Weapon: Shield-like Staffblade Limit: Epic D*ckey Rocket

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 41 Weapon: Guitar Axe Limit: Fimbulvetr

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 40 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun Limit: I HATE TIM BURTON!

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon: Level 49 Weapon: Onyx keyblade Limit: Look at my power!

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 55 Weapon: Dark Blade of Artemis Limit: The Rage of Dragons

Title (Beauty Queen) Fearless: Level 54 Weapon: Sexy Scythe Limit: Sexy Beam

Title (Exploding Penguin) Momo: Level 24 Weapon: Knives Limit: Tank Shot, Dood!

Title (Former God of War) Kratos: Level 30 Weapon: Blades of Exile Limit: The Rage of Sparta

Title (Fangirl) Mary Sue: Level 9999 Weapon: Ultimate blah blah blah Limit: Ultimate blah blah blah

Title (Mod) TDF: Level 43 Weapon: A Locket from a banhammer Limit: Pokemon

On the next episode of Hellfirecomms...

Impatientness has fallen over the party! There's only 19 more seconds until Chapter 3 can begin. "Yeah, we can't wait that long." TheBladeofaDemon said. "Let's all kill ourselves so we don't have to endure this torture." "We can't do that!" Sora said. There's still a chance! Spin the Earth counter-clockwise and move time forward! "That won't work!" TDF shouted. But there are still some other methods! Like flip 19 seconds over to make 51 seconds. "That doesn't make any fucking sense!" FTA said, "Besides, then we'd have even more time!"

Next time on...

{The Super Happy Fun Fun Show (Hellfire Edition) Grand Finale - Tom's Last Cup of Tea! - Crying isn't good comedic value, you know?} "Who comes up with this shit?" TheBladeofaDemon said. Doesn't matter, it's time for the next chapter anyway.


	4. Chapter 3ish Bitches Gone Wild!

(Chapter 3?)

Will Riku ever stop pouting? And Riku pouts some more.

Before they could move on, a giant spider appeared. KevROB quickly pulls out a BOOT TO THE HEAD and squashes the spider.

(Chapter 4)

The World of Yaoi "Wait, what the f*ck!" said Riku. "Gaawwrsh, when are we?" cried Epic D*ckey Dog. "We must get back to Chapter 3!" exclaimed Sora. TDF appeared in front of everyone with a microphone in his right hand, and was about to sing. "And there's only one way..."

...IT'S JUST A STEP TO THE LEFT... AND TWO STEPS TO THE R-I-I-GHT!

LEEEET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIIIIN!

LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAAAAAIN!

But before their reference could be done, yaoi fangirls captured our heroes and forced them to do something reeeaaaallllyyy dirty. Yup, you guessed it...

They played in the mud! But this mud turned out to have the curse of wiping all their magic abilities.

Now they have to start all over again, and grind to level 9999. ...Great. But luckily, Momo had rare candies in his fanny pack! Unfortunately, their EVs we're fuxxord in the process and they pretty much sucked anyway. Oh and everybody had a tummy ache from al the candy. Tom tried to use a spell that fixes stomach aches. The spell also apparently gives them extra strength. But it didn't work. So now, our heroes tried killing the Mary Sue leader, Mary Sue. But since they ate all that candy, they could only do one damage for every hit. So then, Kratos became a pansy working for McDonalds, Epic D*ckey Dog just died, and every other not really all that important character died too. So now, the ones who are still alive are. FTA, NTm64, KevROB, TheBladeofaDemon, Fearless, TDF, Spiffy, Sora, Riku, Helldragon, Ron, IRTundraboy, Momo, and Kairi. "Does that mean my letter O is gone forever?" Tom said.

(Levels)

Title (Commentator) NTm64: Level 1 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end Limit: Hellfire Catharsis

Title (Sonic Nerd) FTA: Level 1 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end Limit: Chaos Control

Title (Overlord) KevROB: Level 1 Weapon: A keyblade from a cute fallen angel Limit: Overlord's Wrath

Title (Wonderous Girl) Spiffy: Level 1 Weapon: Unknown Limit: Unknown

Title (Dark Hero) Riku: Level 1 Weapon: Batwing-blade Limit: Darkstrom

Title (Keyblade Wielder) Sora: Level 1 Weapon: Oathkeeper and Oblivion Limit: Master Form

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 1 Weapon: Guitar Axe Limit: Fimbulvetr

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 1 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun Limit: I HATE TIM BURTON!

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon: Level 1 Weapon: Onyx keyblade Limit: Look at my power!

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 1 Weapon: Dark Blade of Artemis Limit: The Rage of Dragons

Title (Beauty Queen) Fearless: Level 1 Weapon: Sexy Scythe Limit: Sexy Beam

Title (Exploding Penguin) Momo: Level 1 Weapon: Knives Limit: Tank Shot, Dood!

Title (Raichu?) TDF: Level 1 Weapon: Unknown Limit: Big Apples that control times through squares.

Title (Heroine) Kairi: Level 10 Weapon: None Limit: None

(Chapter Madness)

And Riku pouts or something.

"Can I save the day, mommy?" said Momo. "Fearless isn't your mother, and Dan Green isn't your father. And you're actually a robot." Helldragon said. "You can't be the hero, until you give Chibi-Riku an ice cream." said KevROB. Because of all this, mass confusion began. NOW the heroes are playing Kingdom Hearts. "Wait" said Sora, with animation.

"The player never even plugged in his controller." He followed, buntly. Then everybody, even the fangirls, went ":I" So Tom, TheHelldragon, and Sora goes to Gamestop to buy three more controllers. So... Sora is playing as himself, who went in to grab the controller and play as... himself?

TIME PARADOX!

While the three of them were going to get controllers, the fangirls attacked the party. Because of this, everyone in the party then proceeded to kick some ass. When most of the fangirls were dead, Tom, Sora and Helldragon came back and threw controllers at the remaining fangirls. It also turns out Sora is a total wimp, even if enemies are dead or not. Oh, and Riku pouts some more. "Hooray!" Sora said, "People care about me again!" Then, TheBladeofaDemon decided to take action. "You're still not important, Sora." He said. Then he took the controller and smacked Sora upside his head. "And stop trying to destroy 4th wall! It's already about to break!" Then TheBladeofaDemon took over, and made a definite improvement. He then realizes he has extra controllers and sprints to get them, so the rest of the party got out and threw Sora back in the game. At that point they thought about just leaving the thing altogether.

Fearless, with her sexy cape exclaimed that what we need here is MOAR ICE CREAM. So now everyone who's left goes to get ice cream. But Sora doesn't get ice cream for doing more damage to the 4th wall before it could be fixed. "I can't believe they left me!" Sora said inside the game. "I am the greatest main character! They can't treat me like this!" Because of his angst, a dark aura circled around him, and he became Dark Sora. "HAHAHAHA! Time to get my revenge!" Then the TV exploded and Dark Sora went to get his revenge. Sora went on a rampage and he kills the ice cream man. "You killed the ice cream man!" KevROB said furiously, "How will we get ice cream now?" Now everyone tries to kill Sora, because they could no longer get ice cream.

TheBladeofaDemon, filled with tons of hate, pulled out his Onyx Keyblade. Then, it evolved into an Onyx blade. He swings hs sword at Sora, and Sora splits into two. Then his body vanished. But, Sora's anger and jealousy turned him into a Heartless! "Again?" Riku said. "Atleast he can't break the 4th wall anymore." KevROB said. But the dark aura that consumed Sora was actually the Dark Dragon! "It's time, for the ultimate sh-" "Die, spawn of Tim Burton!" Ron said as he shot the dragon with a machine gun. Then the dragon dropped dead. Then there was a long silence. "...That was the main villain?" Spiffy said unimpressed.

But then everyone heard glass breaking. "Oh no!" Helldragon began, "The 4th wall!" They ran back to Destiny Islands as quick as Sonic the Deadhog. "If that wall breaks, all life will cease to exist!" Helldragon said. "But what can we do?" TDF asked. "I know, doods!" Momo said, "Let's throw Sora in there! Maybe that'll stop the wall from breaking, dood." Then everyone seals Sora into the wall. Sora tried to flip the bird, but he only had 2 fingers. Now that Sora was sealed inside, the wall stopped breaking. The universe had been saved, and Sora was no longer a main character. And so everyone parted ways, and they all lived happily ever after, until Kingdom Hearts 3, The End.

Tom went back to Manchester or something, and drank tea untill he died as an old man.

FTA went to a Mario convention dressed as Sonic. There he was jumped on until he cried.

TheHelldragon was chosen to kill Zeus alongside his fellow Transformers. They won, and the Transformers became the new Gods of Olympus.

Sora was left on the island for all eternity, until Kingdom Hearts 3.

KevROB went back to being the narrator.

TheBladeofaDemon's keyblade evolved into an Onyx scythe. Then, he became the new Grim Reaper.

GreatZombieRon started an Anti-Tim Burton religion. Then he was attacked by Jack Skellington.

IRTundraBoy was frozen in ice for 100 years. Then he had to learn the 4 elements.

Fearless, with her sexy cape was sexy for all eternity.

Spiffy died and beat up Xion in the afterlife until she was bored.

Momo exploded when someone threw him on Spiffy's head. He exploded into raining candy.

TDF tried to stop Riku from pouting. It didn't help.

Riku pouts some more.

Kairi tried to get Sora out of the wall, but when she tried, she got sucked in aswell. Now the two of them were stuck in the wall forever. Because of this, they had some fun in there.

Fin...Maybe?

On the next episode of Hellfirecomms...

"What? I thought the story ended!" Spiffy said. Riku, now a P.S.P., began to sexually harass random people. "What the fu-I'm not a fucking pervert!" Riku yelled. Just then, a soccer ball hits Tom IN THE BALLS. It was critical hit! "I thought this was about Riku! Not my balls!"

New series!

{"Hellfire Blues" Episode 1: ~Ron the Great Zombie~ hope you don't miss it!"} "How dare you all stand out and leave me in the dark!" a creepy voice said. "I'll fucking murder you all!" "...Don't tell me it's gonna go on for 3 more seasons." Tom said. "Just about." replied Fearless. "Good lord..." Helldragon said eating a bat's wing.


	5. Chapter 5 Time to save teh world!

(Chapter 5)

Universal Regeneration

(Levels)

Title (Commentator) NTm64: Level 78 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end Limit: Hellfire Catharsis

Title (Sonic Nerd) FTA: Level 88 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end Limit: Chaos Control

Title (Overlord) KevROB: Level 85 Weapon: A keyblade from a cute fallen angel Limit: Overlord's Wrath

Title (Wonderous Girl) Spiffy: Level 90 Weapon: Unknown Limit: Unknown

Title (Dark Hero) Riku: Level 94 Weapon: Batwing-blade Limit: Darkstrom

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 84 Weapon: Guitar Axe Limit: Fimbulvetr

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 70 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun Limit: I HATE TIM BURTON!

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon: Level 93 Weapon: Onyx blade Limit: Look at my power!

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 98 Weapon: Dark Blade of Artemis Limit: The Rage of Dragons

Title (Beauty Queen) Fearless: Level 97 Weapon: Sexy Scythe Limit: Sexy Beam

Title (Exploding Penguin) Momo: Level 50 Weapon: Knives Limit: Tank Shot, Dood!

Title (Mod)TDF: Level 76 Weapon: Locket from a banhammer Limit: Pokemon

After the events at Destiny Island, everyone went back home. But, they were teleported back to Andy's Room for some unknown reason. "Hey, what the fuck?" Tom said. But it turns out Dark Dragon wasn't the final boss! "The final boss is me, Sary Xeum!" She said jumping down from Andy's bed. "The 4th wall wasn't going to destroy the world you dumbasses! If you want to fight me, you'll have to seal 3 other worlds! Bye, bye!" She teleported away. So then, the party splits up into groups, and they go to different parts of the universe to seal the worlds. Once they do, they'll be able to finally kill that bitch.

Team Hellfire-FTA, NTm64, GreatZombieRon, TheHelldragon.

Team Symphony-KevROB, Spiffythewonderkid, Momo, Fearless.

Team Soul Eater-TheBladeofaDemon, IRTundraboy, TDF, Riku.

But before the teams could leave, TheBladeofaDemon left on his own. He wanted to unlock his true powers, or something. Now the true journey begins!

Meanwhile, Sary Xeum was on her bed thinking to herself. "What have I become?" She said to herself. You see, Sary Xeum wasn't actually a nobody, she is a Heartless. But she is a heartless that turns out to be a wall more powerful than the 4th one. She knew that if she was killed, the universe would end up like the "End of the World" from the first Kingdom Hearts. But unknownst to everyone, she was being controlled by a nobody who wanted friends.

Team Hellfire journeyed to a land full of robots and bad stories. Atleast untill 21XX. They went to a world known as 20XX. When the four of them enetered, Tom stole some robot's job. "Good god! He stole my job!" said the mysterious man they call the "Wallman." So then TheHelldragon kills him. When they killed him, they gained eight new summons. (Cue Mega Man music!) Wall Man, Emo Man, Belt Man, Zipper Man, Tea Man, Penguin Man, Heart Man, and Disney Man! But in order to use them, they had to kill an older summon. So they did. So now they can use these robot masters instead of (Shudders) Chicken Little...

Team Soul Eater went to the Matrix. They also got Neo as a partner. Then, Team Symphony went to the world of SONIC '06! But, the world never existed thanks to the ending. So instead, they went to a world full of flamers, fanboys, and people that complain about games they've never played. Yup, they went to the world of GameSpot! But Gamespot wasn't the right world, so they went to the world of Wal' Mart instead. There, they discover what they think is a golden Kingdom Key priced at $20. "WOW! That's a low price!" KevROB said. So then Spiffy, Momo, Fearless, and KevROB buy the keyblade. But it turns out Wal' Mart is a heartless factory! And the key turns all the products into heartless. So the four of them fight off the heartless and end up at CANDY MOUNTAIN again for no raisin. Then, KevROB ditches his old keyblade and equips this new one. But the gold turned out to just be paint, and it's actually from the self-proclaimed "most badass freakin' overlord in the entire cosmos" Also, they finally found a weapon for Spiffy. And some of the party members titles changed for no pancakes.

Meanwhile, TheBladeofaDemon was at CANDY MOUNTAIN and he was looking for information about Sary Xeum. He unexpectedly meets up with the other group. Then they confronted an enemy called Band Master. Before they fought, Band Master revealed that TheBladeofaDemon's real name was J.D. Because of that Band Master gives J.D. a hand. But it was a severed hand. So then, Fearless threw it at Band Master which defeated him. "Did everyone forget about me?" whimpered TDF. "I just had to take a really long piss!" he said again.

But suddenly, Sary Xeum appeared next to Band Master's lifelss body. And so did Box Dragon, and Dark Dragon, the colossus, Xartok, the organization, and even Captainblue50! What will the heroes do now?

To be continued? Well duh!

(Levels)

Title (Commentator) NTm64: Level 78 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end Limit: Hellfire Catharsis

Title (Sonic Maniac) FTA: Level 88 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end Limit: Chaos Control

Title (Badass Overlord) KevROB: Level 85 Weapon: A keyblade from the most "badass freakin' overlord" Limit: Badass Overdrive

Title (Wonderous Girl) Spiffy: Level 90 Weapon: Wonderful Keyblade Limit: Can you feel the Sunshine?

Title (Dark Hero) Riku: Level 94 Weapon: Batwing-blade Limit: Darkstrom

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 84 Weapon: Guitar Axe Limit: Fimbulvetr

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 70 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun Limit: I HATE TIM BURTON!

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon: Level 93 Weapon: Onyx blade Limit: Look at my power!

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 98 Weapon: Dark Blade of Artemis Limit: The Rage of Dragons

Title (Beauty Queen) Fearless: Level 97 Weapon: Sexy Scythe Limit: Sexy Beam

Title (Hero) Momo: Level 50 Weapon: Knives Limit: Tank Shot, Dood!

Title (Mod) TDF: Level 76 Weapon: Locket from a banhammer Limit: Pokemon

On the next episode of Hellfirecomms...

"My brother. We were forged in victory. A victory that ended the Great War and brought forth the reign of Mt. Cybertron. Born from the depths of the Underworld. Rooted in the River of Souls. Our mountain merged out of the chaos. As it grew, so did the might of the Decepticons. We created a world of peace, a world of prosperity, a world that lives in the shadow and safety of my mountain. A mountain that has come to be the absolute measure of strength and power. Now, on this day, that power is to be tested. The mortal, TheHelldragon, seeks to destroy all that I have wrought. Brothers. Put aside the petty grievances that have splintered us for so long. We will unite. We will stand together. And I will wipe out this plague! The Decepticons, will prevail!" ...or not. And so the Autobots won and Helldragon became a god, The End!


	6. Chapter 6 Filler Time!

(Chapter 6)

Enter the New Main Characters!

Sorry guys, but Box Dragon had to go to the hospital since the last chapter, and Dark Dragon, Xartok, and the colossus left the story altogether. Oh, and the organization's already dead anyway, so...yeah. Also Sary's in her bed doing...something. So the only one still there is the captain. Anyway, back to the story.

"Wh-who are you?" J.D. said. "Hehehe, my (user)name is CaptainBlue50. I am an expert at GTA, and a former Hellfirecomms member." "Former? What the hell are you talking about?" Spiffy said. "I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you." the captain replied. "No seriously! What the fuck are you talking about? I'm on their channel right now and your name's still there! Right under Al's name, where it's always been!" ("Damn, they saw through my ruse.") Captain thought to himself. "Oh please don't tell me Captain's gonna be the new Mid-Boss." KevROB said. "He sure does seem like one." Fearless replied. "Nah, he's just going to be the sucky fake villain that ends up joining you near the end of the game." Spiffy said unimpressed. "Do you people...really think of me like that?" the captain said surprised. "Hmph, No matter..." CaptainBlue said. Then he pulled out a keyblade with spray paint attached. "Have at you!" He began running towards Fearless.

(Meanwhile...)

Team Soul Eater had finally sealed the keyhole, when Sary Xeum popped up in front of them after she was in her little private time. "What do you want now?" Tundraboy said. "Who is that?" Neo said. "Fa! Introducing myself to trash like you gets old, real fast!" Sary pulled out a gun and Headshotted Neo. "Now that he's out of the way." She pulled out an orcarina. "Listen up you three! The readers are all getting bored of you! That is why I'm bringing in a new main character that'll be cool for the kiddies." She played a hacked song, and summoned a guy from Earth. "Bye bye!" She disappeared.

"What a bitch!" TDF said. The new main character got up. "So, who's the new guy?" Tundraboy said. "Hey new dude, what's your name?" "Oh, well I'm Riku8745." he began, "I was reading this story when suddenly I got su-" "Wait!" Riku yelled. "I'm Riku! What are you? A replica?" "Oh definitely," Riku8745 said sarcastically. "I'm obviously a replica even though I look nothing like you!" Because Riku had no idea what sarcasm was, he drew his blade. "Then there can only be one!" he said. Riku8745 looked around his person for a weapon until he found a PS2 controller. "...Is that really your weapon?" Tundraboy said. "Well...that's all I got." "That's a really sucky choice, man." TDF replied. "Oh sure, and a Locket is so much better?" "...I hate this sarcastic bastard already." TDF said. "Can't we get on with the fight now?" Riku said impatiently.

"Not so fast!" Some plot device said. It was Darth Vader riding on a snowboard. "Darth Vader?" Tundraboy said. Then he took off his mask and it revealed his true identity. "You..." Both Rikus said. "Yes bitches, it is I, Replica Riku!" "...And who're you again?" Tundraboy said. "..Don't you remember? I'm from Chain of Memories!" "Sorry, never played it." TDF said. "No one did." Riku8745 said. "Well, anyway. I refuse for there to be more than one Riku clone! Only I can be Riku's clone! If there's three, you know fangirls will just jump right on it." The three Rikus all looked disgusted at the thought.

Then a battle between the three Rikus was unleashed! Sadly it is fucking violent and we cannot show it. So here's a picture of "Mr. Unsmiley."

:(

(Meanwhile again...)

As CaptainBlue50 began running towards Fearless, an anime-type girl with red eyes appeared out of a portal in the sky. "What the-who the hell're you?" Captain said. "I'm Wildstar." She said. "I was asked if I wanted to be in a story by "God," and I was sucked through a portal of DARKNESS. And now I'm here." "That story's actually pretty believable." said KevROB. "Well listen up new character," Captain began, "even though you've just been added, I won't go easy o-." "I'm bored!" Wild said abruptly. "Let's start killing!" She pulled out a bow and shot Captain in the foot. "Dammit! I missed his heart! Sorry Captain!" Wild said disappointed. "Wow, she'll fit right in!" Fearless said. Then Wild turned to the party. "Alright then, listen up!" she said. "Is she the leader now?" J.D. said to Spiffy. "How the hell would I know?" she replied. Wild was drawing a plan with a stick. "We're going to do a sneak attack from here. Then we'll grow 10,000 arms and fire rocket punches while saying "Atatatatatatatata!" "How do we do that?" KevROB said surprisingly. "Oh sorry, nevermind what I said." Wild said backing down. "Anyway!" She began, "It's kill time!"

Unfortunately, the punching bag was nowhere to be found. "Hey! Where'd he go?" J.D. said. Then Wild punched him. "You should raise your hand before speaking!" She said. "Wh-what?" J.D. replied. "Just kidding!" She said. Then she punched him again. "...or not! Sorry about that. So what's the story so far? I'm not sure what's going on." Spiffy began to explain." Well you see-" "Stop! I really don't care to be honest. Actually I've been reading what's going on." She pulled out her bow again. "She's waaaay too hyper, dood." Momo said. "Do you want to get headshotted?" Wild said. "Uhh, so wanna join us?" J.D. said. "Sure, it's pretty boring right now anyway." (Wildstar, the hyperactive sorry spewing killing machine has joined the party!)

Suddenly, another portal appeared for no ice cream. "WHO SAID ICE CREAM?" Wild said looking around. "Should we be concerned?" KevROB said. "Nah, she'll get used to it." Spiffy replied. The party decided to go through the portal and ended up with...

(Meanwhile a third time...)

Helldragon was holding up the severed head of Shade Man, and Tom was drinking tea. FTA was doing a handshake with a strange little blue robot, and Ron was crying over Toy Story 3. Then suddenly CaptainBlue50 appeared in front of them feeling like he just got owned. "CaptainBlue50?" Tom yelled. "Wh-why are you here?" The captain laughed to himself. "It's none of your business. Now, tell me where I can find "that!" "Um, what is "that?" Ron asked. The captain pointed at him dramatically. "Hey you there! Who gave you permission to speak? I don't forgive selfishness." He pulled out a gun, and was about to press the trigger when suddenly, a Deux Ex Machina appeared to help. It was AxelRyman and BigAl2K6 riding on a magic cloud. "We've come to help you!" Axel said like a Nickelodeon bubble. "No!"

Captain said while backing away. "Not again!" BigAl began to sing "Pizza Power!" But it didn't work, so he began powering up. "I WILL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD, AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!" he said. Thus, CaptainBlue50 teleported away into a portal of DARKNESS.

Then Team Symphony, along with the newest member Wildstar, appeared out of a portal in front of Helldragon. "There you bastards are!" NTm64 said. "Where the fuck have you been? And who the hell is this?" Wildstar bowed. "Hello there, Tom." She said. "My name is Wildstar. I'm sorry for all the trouble I may cause you." "Alrightey then." Tom replied. Wild pulled out her bow again. "Now let's start killing!" She said. "Yeah! Let's start killing!" Helldragon replied.

(...ehh...)

After the battle between the 3 Rikus was over, Replica Riku turned into a flower. Riku8745 was on the ground while Riku was about to finish him off. "Wait Riku!" TDF said. "He could be of some use to us." Riku pouted at him, and put his sword away. "Does this mean I can join you?" Riku8745 said. "Yes, but you'll have to change your name." Tundraboy said. But before the conversation could continue, they were teleported to 20XX, and landed in front of the rest of the party.

"There you are!" Ron said to them. "And who the fuck is this guy?" Helldragon started. "He has drool all over his face!" Riku8745's mouth was wide open, and exploded in his short shorts. Then he glomped Helldragon. "OH MY GOD!" He shouted. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOUR THEHELLDRAGON! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!" "Get the fuck off of me!" Helldragon said shaking his leg. "Since there can't be more than one Riku," J.D. began, "what should he change his name to?" Riku8745 stopped glomping Helldragon. "Just call me James." "Alright. But you'd better do shit." FTA said. (Riku8745 "James" the biggest Helldragon fan in the universe, has joined the party.) "IT'S TOO CROWDED IN HERE!" Wild said.

"So where do we go next?" KevROB said. "Let's go to London, I ran out of tea!" Tom said. And so they go to the perfectly normal town of London.

(Levels)

Title (Commentator) NTm64: Level 86 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end Limit: Hellfire Catharsis

Title (Sonic Nerd) FTA: Level 88 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end Limit: Chaos Control

Title (Badass Overlord) KevROB: Level 86 Weapon: A keyblade from the most "badass freakin' overlord" Limit: Badass Overdrive

Title (Wonderous Girl) Spiffy: Level 91 Weapon: Wonderful Keyblade Limit: Can you feel the Sunshine?

Title (Dark Hero) Riku: Level 97 Weapon: Batwing-blade Limit: Darkstrom

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 85 Weapon: Guitar Axe Limit: Fimbulvetr

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 78 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun Limit: I HATE TIM BURTON!

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon (J.D.): Level 93 Weapon: Onyx blade Limit: Look at my power!

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 99 Weapon: Dark Blade of Artemis Limit: The Rage of Dragons

Title (Beauty Queen) Fearless: Level 97 Weapon: Sexy Scythe Limit: Sexy Beam

Title (Exploding Penguin) Momo: Level 52 Weapon: Knives Limit: Tank Shot, Dood!

Title (Mod) TDF: Level 81 Weapon: Deadly Locket from a Banhammer Limit: Summon: Pokemon

Title (Ranter) BigAl2K6: Level 1 Weapon: Microphone Limit: Pizza Power!

Title (Hero of Time) AxelRyman: Level 58 Weapon: Master Sword Limit: Metabots! RRROOOOLLLLBBBAAATTTLLLEEE!

Title (Daily Crow) Wildstar Level 70 Weapon: Bow and Arrows Limit: Internet Meme Beam

Title (Ultra Nerd X) James Level 72 Weapon: PS2 Controller Limit: What the F*ck?

On the next episode of Hellfirecomms...

Tea...ownage...flamers...idiocy. Long ago, the 4 corners of the internet lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when Youtube attacked. Only Cloud, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the people needed him most, he vanished. A whole year passed and Helldragon and I discovered the new savior. Some British dude named NTom64. And although his commentating skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to overthrow anyone. But I believe Tom can save the world...or maybe not.

Next time on...

{Hellfirecomms The Last Commentator: Final Chapter! Who'll win? Tom or Youtube?}


	7. Chapter And the Baby Parody A Go Go!

(Chapter DARKNESS)

Blackest Night

A little notice before we start. If you know what's this'll be parodying/referencing, then good for you. It'll be much more funny that way. If you don't know what it is, then go kill yourself because your not IMMORTAL. Anyway, shall thou begin?

It was sunset. As the party was traveling to London, they got tired. They spotted an inn, and decided to rest for a bit. Outside was a man with strange strange, and by strange I mean slightly creepy, fish lips. There was also a child named Percy who wanted to write a story. The two of them said they were tired, and they acted a bit robotic for some reason.

As they entered the innkeeper greeted them. She was a woman with large breasts and also acted robotic. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO REFRESH?" she said. They chose 'Yes', and headed off to sleep.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Hi my name is Killtendo Thomas 666 Belmont and you have long ebony Belmont hair (that's how I got my name) with large mushrooms and red grotty piss-stained Charmanders that reaches my mid-section and blood-red eyes like salty tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Jack Black (DS: if u don't know what HellfireComms is then GET DA FUK OUT BOYO!). I'm not related to DAN GREEN but I wish I was because he's a fucking Lion dragon thing. I'm a Brit, but my teeth aren't yellow and crooked. I have pale white skin. (Guess why?) I'm also a stamp collector, and I go to a queer little school called Dude Academy in England (Hey whaddya know?) where I go on queer little adventures with my queer little friends. I'm in the seventh year (I'm 24). I'm a goth (in case you're blind, deaf, and stupid) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Tea and I buy all my clothes from the washer. For example today I was wearing a black shirt with a matching face around it and a black leather miniskirt, (Extra mini) and your golashes too. I was walking outside Dude Academy. It was snowing and raining (AT THE SAME TIME!) so there was no Sunny D, which pleases my nerd instincts. A lot of 12 year olds stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them while laughing derisavly at the plot. "Hey KTom666!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was….TheVampiredragon! "What's up Vampiredragon?" I asked. "Nothing." he said angrily. But then, I heard my nerd posse call me and I had to go away.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

DS: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

KevROB: Do you recognize it yet? If not, kill yourself since you're not IMMORTAL. (Hint, hint)

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X 666 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

The next day I woke up in my basement. It was snowing and raining (AT THE SAME TIME!) again. I opened the door of my minifridge and drank some Bat Blood from a bottle I had. My fridge was a grotty piss-stained toilet and inside it was hot pants with Dr. Who posters on the ends. I got off of my couch and took of my giant MCP t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a Dr. Who T-Shirt, an Airbender necklace, and your golashes too. I ate four onion rings, and put my hair in a kind of messy mess.

My friend, Fastest Bat Dead woke up then and said innuendos about me. He flipped the raven, and opened his green eyes. (Oh Noes! GREEN? WE MUST MAKE A PETITION TO STOP THIS!) He put on his Game Over t-shirt with a black headgehog, fishing rods, pointy quills, and your Soap shoes, too. We put on our Tophats and monocles, and drank cups of bangers and mash somehow. "I saw you talking to Vampiredragon, yesterday!" he said unimpressed. "Yes, so?" I said. "Do you like waffles?" he asked as we went out of the Sonic Convention and into the Kingdom Hearts Con. No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right! No one can hate waffles!" he exclaimed while eating a waffle. Just then, Vampiredragon walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Charlotte's Web is having a convention in Camelot." he told me.

"Oh fucking shit! My Gamecube!" I screamed. FBD ate it thinking it was a waffle. I love the GameCube. It is my favorite "cybernetic entity?", besides the MCP.

"Well….do you want to play with Big?" he asked.

I gasped. Then said "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" As FBD ate my Killtendo 6664.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

D.S: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN!

KevROB: I must say, this is easier than writing regular chapters for some odd reason. Maybe it's because I'm not IMMORTAL.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X 666 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

On the night of the M. Night Shamadingdong hunting, I put on my black "YOU MUST DIE" shirt, and your golashes too. Underneath them were ripped red basketballs. Then I put on a black "Remembuh Me?" shirt with all this Metroid shit on the back and front. I put matching bowties on my cats. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. (Anime disease. Watch out for it.) I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my cats' throats. I read a depressing book (Probably "A Dog of Flanders") while I waited for my cat to come back to life and listened to some Goron's crying. I painted my TV black, and put on TONS. Then I put on some Avatar The Last Airbender. I didn't put on the movie because I was gonna burn it anyway. I drank some Bat blood so I was ready to go to the hunt.

I went outside. Vampiredragon was waiting there in front of his flying robot called Scarscream. He was wearing a "Simple and Clean" shirt, baggy parachute pants, and a little Transformers keychain on his golashes too. (D.S: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok! KevROB: Cool people wear golashes?).

"Hi Vampiredragon." I said in a thirsty voice.

"Hi Tom." he said back. We walked into his flying Transformer (the license plate said 69) and flew to the place with the convention. On the way we listened excitedly to "Pokemon Opening Theme 1" and "That highway stage from KH2". We both watched hobos smoke cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of Scarscream. We went to the Pit of 100 Trials at the front of the stage and went in and out of the pipes as we randomly murdered enemies for EXP. I dropped a 20 dollar bill, but unfortunately I didn't notice.

"Meat juice! What does it taste like?

I whispered to the dumpling skin.

But I'm happy

because I have bread crust!" sang one of the hobos.

"That was so fucking terrible." I said to Vampiredragon, pointing to the hobo as he sung, filling the air with his grotty piss-stained odor and horrendous voice.

Suddenly Vampiredragon looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we murdered another Goomba. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok we can kill him later!" I said.

"Really?" asked Vampiredragon creepily as he pulled out a gun.

"Really." I said. "Besides, that hobo has a picture of DuffMan. He doesn't deserve that picture!" I said.

The murder spree went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Vampiredragon, who made a necklace out of Amazy Dayzee petals. I put M. Night's head inside the trophy I won by button mashing. After the convention, we drank some Bat blood and asked the two hobos for their autographs, before murdering them of course. We got shirts with GameCubes on them. Vampiredragon and I crawled back into Scarscream, but Vampiredragon didn't go back into Dude Academy, instead Scarscream flew into… the (stereotypically named) Forbidden Forest!

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

DS: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

KevROB: Rest in Peace two random hobos. Your lives will never be forgotten.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X 666 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

"Vampiredragon!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you mean by "Normal Map"?"

Vampiredragon didn't answer but he stopped the Transformer and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I said not knowing I quoted myself.

"Tom?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Helldragon leaned in extra-close and I looked into his rage filled eyes (he was wearing contacts for no raisin) which revealed so much anger and frustration (ala God of War). Then he reached into his pocket, and pulled out a dollar. "You dropped this." Vampiredragon said handing me the 20 I dropped earlier. "Thanks." I replied.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was…(Enough periods for ya? Wait, what?)….Axeldore!

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

DS: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X 666 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

KevROB: If you read the original story, aren't you glad I didn't interpret that scene? And wow this chapter was short!

Axeldore made (Mr. Invisible) and Vampiredragon and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacrously foolish fools!" he shouted.

"...And what did we do?" I said.

When we went back to CastleVania, Axeldore took us to Professor Tundra and Professor McKarigall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"I still don't know what your talking about." I replied.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre, inadequate, medium-leveled, (Hooray for synonyms!) dunces?" asked Professor McKarigall.

And then Vampiredragon shrieked. "Because Transformers are fucking awesome!"

Everyone was quiet. Axeldore and Professor McKarigall still looked mad but Professor Tundra said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your computer rooms."

Vampiredragon and I went upstairs while the "special people" used Glare on us.

"Are you okay, dude?" Vampiredragon asked me.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to peek in the girl's dorm, but then I remembered there were no girls at Dude Academy, only really girly men. "FFFuck!" I said to myself disappointed. I went to my room and went IN THE BATHROOM! I dropped a nice Save, and brushed my grotty piss-stained yellow teeth. Then I changed into my fancy pajamas, (which for Tom is a Tuxedo and Tophat) and put on my bedtime golashes too. (Why is everyone wearing golashes?) When I came out….

Vampiredragon was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing "Can you Feel The Sunshine?" and ended it by cursing the Tails Doll's name, and called everyone who's afraid of it pussies. I laughed, and he went back into his room, The Transformers base of operations.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

DS: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

KevROB: "Why is everyone in this story a fucking nerdy vampire!"

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X 666 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

The next day I woke up on my couch. I put on a nerdy shirt and nerdy pants. Then I put on a nerdy hat, and your rain boots that begin with the letter "G" too. They were Wrapped in Black. (Let's all sing Wrapped in Black!) I put two pairs of skull earrings on my cat, (Like Etna?) and watched two crossdressers fight. Then I played Jet Set Radio. I spray-painted a wall, then the cops sicked mechanical spiders after me.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with tea instead of milk, (He is British you know) and a glass of Bat Blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the tea spilled over my person.

"YOU BASTARD MAN!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a nerdy guy. He had a sexy English accent. He was so sexy that an imaginary girl next to me body went all hot when she saw him kind of like an erection only she's a girl so she didn't get one you sicko. (Uh, I didn't think of that until you brought it up, but whatever.)

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Gary Stu these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I said.

"Because I'm perfect in everyway." he replied.

We sat down to some play DnD for a while. Then Vampiredragon came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

DS: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

KevROB: ...Can anyone even understand what she's saying? Also, we're skipping a chapter because I can't think of anything to do with it.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X 666 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X Y X X X X X X X X

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Vampiredragon came into the room naked for some reason. Then he started begging me to make a walkthrough of Professor Layton 3.

"Tom!" Vampiredragon screamed.

Fastest Bat Dead smiled at me while eating my Killtendo DS (Demon Slayer). He flipped the bird again and opened a jar. (Backstory time about a character that hasn't been introduced at all in the story yet! Amazing!) Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires (Of course!) and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculously, stupid, idiotic, dimwit!" Tundra demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"To get onto the next chapter already!" I said.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

DS: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist! MCP ROX!

KevROB: Is it just me, or is the story starting to get much harder to parody right?

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X 666 X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

The next morning Tom woke up looking as if he just had a nightmare. "You alright Tom?" said Fearless. "Not sure." he replied. Then the party continued their journey to London.

"Hehehehehe! I'll get you next time you bastard man!" a voice said.

On the next episode of HellfireComms...

When Courtney Gears, a famous pop star all the way from Ratchet 3 loses her voice, Tom steps up to take her place! "Like hell I will!" Can he Tom fully act out this major role? "I'm not fucking doing it!"

Next time on...

{Hellfire's Got Talent Final Episode: - Your Destiny Awaits - Tom, you can do this!}

"Haven't you heard what I said! I'm not doing it!"


	8. Chapter 8 Strawberry on the shortcake!

(Chapter 7)

I Didn't Expect It At All!

As the party entered London, a voice shouted FTA's name. "Hey FTA!" It said. It was FTA's gay lover SonicMovies. "So you gonna join us?" Tom said. "Yes." (SonicMovies, with nothing special about him, joined.) And the award to "Most Boring Recruitment goes to...SonicMovies! Congratulations!

As the party entered London, they saw Sinistar destroying Ice Cream stores.

"I am Sinistar!

Beware, I live!

Run, Run, Run!

Beware, Coward!

Run, Coward!

RAWWWAAAARRRGGGGHHH!

I hunger!"

Then an epic battle between the party and Sinistar began. Wild shot Sinistar IN THE FACE, while Fearless attacked him with her scythe. Tom drank some more Tea to raise his stats, while Riku attacked from Head-on. FTA and SonicMovies began singing "Unknown From M.E." and summoned Knuckles to help. But then he was eaten by a garage. TundraBoy and Ron took a break and went to pre-order some shit.

For no omelets, RandomDCE and LuizPrower appeared and fused together to create RandomPrower. Then DAN GREEN appeared and challenged Sinistar to a duel. But then Tom shot him. "No Yu-Gi-Oh!" Tom said. Suddenly CaptainBlue50 jumped out of Sinistar's mouth. "I'm back!" He said. "Not you again!" Spiffy yelled at him. "Didn't you get enough the first time?" "Oh Mr. Captain!" Wild said. "I apologize for missing your heart earlier. Really, I'm sorry." CaptainBlue50 didn't say anything. "Man, you apologize waaay too much! You would've perfect for Tales of Sym-" "Okay, I'm bored now!" Wild said cutting him off again. She pulled out her bow, and shot him in his left arm. "Dammit! Sorry I missed again!" Then the Captain fell onto the ground. James used his PS2 whip and whipped Captain's ass. KevROB and J.D. did a Team Attack on Sinistar, while Helldragon finally used the Spear of Destiny. Unfortunately, it sucks, so he throws it at Sinistar, killing him instantly.

"Why does Helldragon always get the best stuff?" KevROB said. "Because he's the Motherf*cking Helldragon! " James replied. Then Kratos appeared out of the fallen Sinistar and hands Helldragon the Nemean Cestus. After that, he disappeared. Then Bad Girl appeared and and hit Tom with a baseball bat. KevROB summoned Pikmin onto the field and they attacked the Captain. But suddenly Captain Falcon appeared riding on a train and ran over the Pikmin. "Alright! I got my tea, let's go." NTm64 said. Then everyone stopped fighting.

But then Sary Xeum appeared and stabbed Bad Girl. "It's time!" She said. Then tons of fangirls with jetpacks appeared out of the sky. Along with them, was the fangirls' starship, The Lucky Star. "Now, my fellow fangirls, capture them and destroy every Ice Cream store on Earth!" Sary said. The fangirls grabbed Momo and went back to their ship. "Meh, he wasn't all too important anyway." Spiffy said. "You missed us dumbasses!" Helldragon said. But suddenly they came rushing back. They grabbed RandomPrower this time, and then they planted a bomb in Sinistar. "Run!" J.D. said. Then the party got away before London was destroyed.

Everyone including the captain hid in a cave that was just mentioned now. "Well this came out of nowhere!" said J.D. "So did we win?" said Helldragon. The captain was sitting in a corner. "She...betrayed me!" he said. "O Rly?" TDF said. "We can't let the fangirls destroy every Ice Cream Store on Earth!" said Riku. "Right!" said NTm64, "Our main target is the fangirl leader, Sary Xeum." "Can't we just leave the story and shoot the bitch?" Ron said bringing out a pistol. "We can't do that!" began James, "I've only appeared in 2 chapters!" "Fine then." said Fearless. "Let's just get on our hoverboards that we apparently have now."

"Wait!" said CaptainBlue50. "Yes Mid-Boss?" said KevROB. "Take me with you, I want REVENGE on those fangirls." "Alright, but please do shit." Tom said handing the captain a bicycle. (CaptainBlue50, the master at defiling property, has joined the party!) "See!" said Spiffy. "I knew it!" Then everyone got on their hoverboards and flew towards the Lucky Star. "Even without wings, I can still fly!" said FTA. "Stop quoting that piece of shit!" NTm64 said.

(Levels)

Title (Commentator) NTm64: Level 89 Weapon: Emerald Green Keyblade with a piranha plant at the end Limit: Hellfire Catharsis

Title (Sonic Maniac) FTA: Level 88 Weapon: Sonic keyblade with Sonic's quills at the end Limit: Chaos Control

Title (Badass Overlord) KevROB: Level 86 Weapon: A keyblade from the most "badass freakin' overlord" Limit: Badass Overdrive

Title (Wonderous Girl) Spiffy: Level 91 Weapon: Wonderful Keyblade Limit: Can you feel the Sunshine?

Title (Dark Hero) Riku: Level 97 Weapon: Batwing-blade Limit: Darkstorm

Title (Insert title here) IRTundraBoy: Level 87 Weapon: Guitar Axe Limit: Fimbulvetr

Title (PC Gamer) GreatzombieRon: Level 80 Weapon: Next Gen. Machine Gun Limit: I HATE TIM BURTON!

Title (Death Controller) TheBladeoftheDemon (J.D.): Level 93 Weapon: Onyx blade Limit: Look at my power!

Title (Transformer) TheHelldragon: Level 100 Weapon: Dark Blade of Artemis Limit: The Rage of Dragons

Title (Beauty Queen) Fearless: Level 98 Weapon: Sexy Scythe Limit: Sexy Beam

Title (Mod) TDF: Level 81 Weapon: Deadly Locket from a Banhammer Limit: 4Chan attacks!

Title (Loud Ranter) BigAl2K6: Level 40 Weapon: Microphone Limit: Pizza Power!

Title (Hero of Time) AxelRyman: Level 76 Weapon: Master Sword Limit: Metabots! RRROOOOLLLLBBBAAATTTLLLEEE!

Title (Daily Crow) Wildstar Level 90 Weapon: Bow and Arrows Limit: Internet Meme Beam

Title (Ultra Nerd X) James Level 83 Weapon: PS2 Controller Limit: What the F*ck?

Title (Sonic Cosplayer) SonicMovies: Level 75 Weapon: Sonic Staff Limit: Widescreen A Go Go!

Title (Gangsta) CaptainBlue50: Level 78 Weapon: Keyblade with Spray Paint attached Limit: Summon Big Blue House

On the next episode of Hellfirecomms...

With Mary's fangirl armada advancing steadily to destroy all the ice cream on Earth, it's up to our heroes to protect the universe! The end is near! Will our heroes be able to defeat the fangirls and save their ice cream? Or will they end up getting Rule 34ed in the process? Find out next time on...

{Hellfire Wars: Episode 6 - Return of the Hedgehog - After this we'll make 3 shitty prequels}

"Fucking hell, mate!" said Tom. "Good lord..." FTA replied.


End file.
